I had an interesting experience recently. It may mean nothing and I don’t want to make it something that it wasn’t but it was at least interesting. Ill let you decide if it was more that.
Five months ago I was surprised to find out the company I worked for was closing operations and I was suddenly out of work. As you can imagine this type of event can stir a person to do some real soul searching. I not only started looking for a job but I also was looking for my calling, for my ministry, for my place. It has been an interesting and valuable journey. I would love to tell you that I have seen the writing on the wall, heard the voice of thunder and now completely understand my mission here on earth. Unfortunately I can’t tell you that and I realize that I probably never will. Right now I am very much at peace with the journey and the conversation it has stirred up within me. But all that is another story. This is about an encounter I had on a Tuesday in July.
I had just received a job offer from a highly respected investment company. They receive hundreds of applications every day and it is certainly a great honor and opportunity for me. Accepting this position doesn’t at all seem like a bad thing but it is a very big commitment. It would be a commitment that I shouldn’t make lightly. It is not simply a new job. It is a career change into a whole new industry. It will affect my family because it will demand a lot of time and mean “entry level” income for a few years while I build my practice. My dilemma was that I have always wondered if I belonged in full time ministry. If ministry was for me then this could be my opportunity to pursue it. After months of seeking no ministry doors have opened and I never really received a inner confirmation that that full time ministry is what God intends for me. This particular job offer is actually the only one I have received. I don’t want to accept it if I belong in ministry. I don’t want to reject it if I don’t have a clear mandate to do so.
Anyway this journey I am on has me doing a lot of reading, praying, journaling etc. So one morning in July I was reading a book by Shane Clairborne about the time he spent in Calcutta working with Mother Teresa. He was emphasizing how he really began to see Jesus in the eyes of the poor, the sick and the dying that he was serving and how much he learned from them. With these thoughts and everything else rolling around in the back of my head that day I had an unusual opportunity to be alone. We currently have a car situation and I was left without wheels. This is kind of hard to believe since we have 4 cars in this house. I asked Kimberly to drop me off at the gym so I could get a work out then walk home (wait a minute I’m paying for insurance on 4 cars and I’m walking home from the gym?). So here I am walking home from the gym on a very hot day. I’m wearing a t-shirt, shorts and flip flops. I’m carrying my gym bag which looks more like a large murse (man purse) strapped around my neck and over one shoulder. I remind myself of Kwai Chang Kane from the old TV show Kung Fu walking from one hot western town to another. I think he was barefoot but he did carry a murse. If you don’t know who he was he was a spiritual Chinese guy who walked all around the wild west kicking butt and spreading peace and tranquility along the way. Eastern mysticism meets western justice. Once again I digress. There I was walking home looking for my opportunity to either impart wisdom or calmly kick some butt. I came around a corner and ahead of me is a couple walking down the street. They appear to be in their 20s. She is tall, a bit over weight and wearing too much make up. I don’t know her name but I will call her Wanda. He was tall, thin and unkempt with shaggy long hair. He seemed like he might be a few years older than Wanda. As soon as they came into view he turned around and saw me. He immediately raised both hands in the air and bowed down as in worship or in honor of me. He must have thought I looked like Kwai Chang Cain as well. I could instinctively tell that he was not a candidate for butt kicking so perhaps I would have an opportunity to impart some wisdom into his needy life. Was I ever mistaken.
They were a little ways ahead of me, we were walking the same direction and the same speed so chances were pretty good that I wouldn’t catch up to them. Except one thing, he was very drunk and taking time to stop and play along the way. As I walked I was determined that I would not speed up or slow down to approach or avoid them. If they wanted to avoid me that was fine and if they wanted to chat with me that would be great. We did walk together for a while but we didn’t really talk much. He thought it was pretty funny to walk out into the middle of the busy street or to pretend to hitch hike. I really said only a few things. Stuff like “Why don’t you stay here on the sidewalk so you don’t get hit by a car”. Mostly I just smiled politely at his antics. He demonstrated his mothers hitching technique and how it differed from his own. He preferred to just throw his thumb out stiff armed and point it in the direction he wanted to go. His mother evidently liked to slowly move her whole arm with thumb extended in the direction of traffic. She would then rapidly pull it forward again and slowly move it back in a very fluid motion. I think he was trying to demonstrate how different he was from his mother but what he really exposed were similarities. It made me think about how he was raised, what things he may have been through growing up, and wonder about how my mother would hitch hike. I think I understood a little about why a guy would be walking down the street stone drunk in the middle of a Tuesday.
Sometimes when I am out on business wearing a suit and tie I get treated a little different. People either think you’re important or they think that you think you’re important. Either way you get treated a little different. This guy seemed to be treating me like I was important. I’m not sure really how to explain it and maybe it was just my imagination but he was acting like I was wearing a suit, and carrying a brief case. I couldn’t understand why. I had no designer labels, no watch, and no blackberry. My hair was longer than it had been in over 15 years. I was just a sweaty guy in flip flops. Why was he acting like I was something special? Then without me asking he announced out loud why he thought I was important. He was on my right Wanda was on my left and he asked her “You know how I can tell this guy is important?” then without waiting for a response he answered “because he’s walking with us.”
Now what did that mean? Did it mean anything? I really didn’t think so since he was simply a raving drunk who probably liked to hear himself make loud declarations. But then again maybe it could have meant something. Could it be that I’m not so special when I am all dressed up in expensive clothes and on my way to an important appointment? Could it be that I was important to him because I acknowledged his value an existence? Could it be because I walked with him, I laughed at his jokes, I showed some concern for his safety? Naaa he was just drunk.
Then things got really weird.
We came to an intersection and Wanda turned to the left. I was headed straight so this is where we would part ways. But not so fast. He kept walking straight, walking next to me on my right. He then made another proclamation. Being inebriated made his speech a little slurred and he was 3 or 4 feet away from me, kinda walking on the shoulder of the street. He looked at me and said “I will bless you in everything you do”.
Now I have often heard drunk people quote scripture or things they think are scripture but usually it is when you are talking to them about God and they want to show off their theological expertise. In this case I wasn’t talking to him about God. I didn’t have a cross around my neck, a Bible in my hand or a fish on my shirt. Why would this guy throw out a statement like that? I thought perhaps he wanted to give me a parting blessing. Maybe he meant to say “May God bless you in everything you do”. So I asked for clarification. I turned to my right and asked him “what did you say?” He then headed left to catch up with Wanda and as he crossed directly behind me I clearly heard him right behind my head repeat “I will bless you in everything you do”. He then ran to catch up with Wanda and they disappeared. Not the “thin air” kind of disappeared they actually just went around a corner. I kind of lamely shouted out to him “God bless you too” but it seemed like my words just faded in the air while his words hung right there behind my head for the rest of my walk home.
Now what had just happened? Wasn’t I the spiritual wanderer who was going to speak truth and impart wisdom? Wasn’t he just a drunk? That couldn’t have really meant anything, could it?
Whether it did or not for some reason my apprehension about this job offer seemed to fade away. A confidence that I could have a career and not miss out on the ministry that God has for me started to build within me. God would bless me, bless me with opportunity to serve him, bless me with a more intimate relationship with him and with others. He would bless me with the chance to use the gifts he gave me to serve him and bring him glory, and he would bless me in any job I choose.
I’ve been asking for a word from God for 5 months. I never expected to receive a word on the street.
